Do you feel like you fit in? Do you? If you do, please post below in the comments and tell me what that’s like, because I don’t think I’ve ever fit in anywhere. Don’t get me wrong. I have some friends, great friends, but mostly I’m not a terribly social animal. I’ve tried, I really have. And some of those attempts have been fun, and I’ve made friends, but still the feeling plagues me…I don’t fit in.
I’m not sure why I feel that way. I look at myself, and then I look at other people and I say, “I’m not like they are. I’m not like everyone else.” That doesn’t mean I’m sitting there saying, ‘I’m better’ or ‘I’m worse’. I’m simply not the same. I’ve had this feeling since I was a little child. The feeling that I am in the world, but not of the world. Why do I feel that way? Beats me. I’ve spent thousands of wasted hours trying to arrive at the conclusion to that one, and I’m no closer to the answer.
A lot of people seem to feel that way, and I’ve discovered that creative people are especially prone to that feeling. When you’re an artist (and yes I consider myself an artist. It was a term I didn’t think I was good enough for until recently, but to hell with it. I’m an artist and I don’t care what people think of me calling myself that. It’s what I am) it’s easy to live inside your own head and reside solely in the world you invent for yourself. Whether it be music, or writing, or painting, you can completely and totally lose yourself in that act. You can go so deep into your creative space that it’s as if you’ve entered another plane where nobody can touch you.
You’re in the world…but not of the world.
It’s hard to explain that to people who are not creative or artistic in any way, but the artists reading this know exactly what I’m talking about.
I think it perfectly explains why we’re drawn to vampires over and over again. They are the textbook example of being in the world but not of it. They look like everyone else, but they are fundamentally different, and have to spend their entire existence trying to act like those around them.
So here’s to the artists. They walk the world next to everyone else, looking and acting the same but never feeling it. Perhaps that’s what makes them able to reflect it back to us so beautifully. It’s that distance and space they live in, where the real world can’t touch them, that they are able to show us what it means to be human.